Saturday, July 6, 2019

Former Boston TV reporter gets candid about his addictions and recovery in new memoir 'Mascara Boy'


Boston TV viewers may remember Brandon Rudat as the former clean cut anchor and reporter at WHDH Channel 7.
Off camera, he led another life, one of late night, drug-fueled sex-athons at clubs and bath houses.

In his new memoir “Mascara Boy: Bullied, Assaulted & Near Death,” Rudat offers a candid look at those two selves, the struggles as an addict and the goals he set for himself to lead a sober, stable, and healthy life.

“I hope that stepping forward, sharing my full name and showing my face, and not hiding in anonymity, will remove some of the stigma of recovering addicts and open the hearts and minds of older generations,” writes the 39-year-old broadcaster who now uses his middle name Lee as his surname.

Written in a conversational tell-it-like-is-style, the book is a compelling read, an intimate and raw journal about his public life and private struggles. But the book also serves a cautionary tale, how repressed traumas - if not dealt with head on - can surface in unhealthy ways. The title of the book refers to a childhood nickname that classmates used to bully Lee because of his natural long eyelashes.

The Orange County, California native said his drug and sex addictions manifested from years of untreated childhood abuse. He also struggled with “gay shame” from his Catholic upbringing. At the age of 10, he was frequently groped by a piano teacher and by a youth soccer coach.  At 15, he used cocaine and had sex with older men under the stairs of a Laguna Beach bar.

Lee buried those memories as he pursued a successful broadcasting career. He started as an intern at NBC's “Today’’ show, then reported and anchored at WVIT in  Hartford, Connecticut before landing at WHDH in 2007. 

He made a mark in Boston, reporting for Channel 7 and anchoring the 10 p.m. newscast for sister station WLVI Ch. 56.  During his two years there, he won a regional Emmy for a piece about a fire chief who was a convicted child sex offender and he was nominated for five other Emmys. Off-camera, Lee was spotted at Boston clubs and parties where followers and viewers (including me) were surprised to discover his heavily tattooed-arms and torso, something we never saw on TV.

In 2009, Lee left Channel 7 after a falling out with his managers over the direction of the station.  In the book, he notes that he was not in control of his emotions at the time.  His exit shortly followed the departures of anchor Randy Price and an 11 p.m. news producer after the NBC affialate's ratings were plunging.  When I was a reporter at The Boston Globe writing about local media, I covered Lee's exit from Channel 7.

"I was told . . . that I am very skilled and that I am very talented but I am not right for the station," he said at the time. "Good things will come out of this."
He found freelance work as a reporter at KTLA in Los Angeles where his rampant drug use intensified and his life spiraled out of control.

His routine: “Get off work. Do a dose of G. Get to the sex club and get high on meth for the next 48 hours, “ he writes.  He also describes what's known as being a “bug chaser,” someone who is  HIV negative and seeks to become positive through unsafe sex. In the book, he admits that he contracted some STDS because of his careless sex but remains HIV negative. 

“That is the powerlessness of addiction. That is the powerlessness I had over sex,’’ he writes. “I couldn’t stop. I wanted to, but I didn’t know how.”
He hit rock bottom in LA. Overdoses landed him in an emergency room twice in the same week. He describes how a nurse heard him crying in his bed and handed him a flier for the LA LGBT Health Center which connected him to a support group and his road to recovery.

“That was it. That was the first day of reclaiming my life in earnest, and I have been sober since Feb. 22, 2010,’’ he writes.

The midsection of the book to the end serves as an AA and 12-steps guide. Lee simply breaks down each step including step 10 which is “to take a personal inventory and when you are wrong, admit it,’’ he writes. Here, he shares a letter he wrote to his former WHDH supervisor and apologizes for his "defiant and manipulative" behavior.

Lee says he’s still sober and augments his 12 steps with help from a therapist. In December 2018, he writes how he left his anchor job in Phoenix to spread his message of hope and recovery through public speaking engagements and through his podcast “Escaping Rock Bottom.”

“When we show our scars to the world we’re actually showing people who have also suffered in silence that they no longer have to suffer,'' he writes.

My only critique of the book is the timeline. Instead of having a linear chronological flow, Lee flits back and forth from past and present to detail his journey and his take on news events such as Kevin Hart's homophobic Tweets and the Brett Kavanaugh confirmation hearings) which made it difficult at times for this reader to stay with Lee's story. Whenever he did this, it removed the reader the scenes and experiences Lee was describing.



Saturday, June 8, 2019

Another charming read by Robin Reardon

On ChocoruaOn Chocorua by Robin Reardon
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

In "On Chocorua,'' Robin Reardon introduces us to Nathan, a sweet, good guy about to start college at the University of New Hampshire.
Reardon takes us on his journey of self-discovery as he forms new friendships on campus, experiences his first gay sexual experience and perhaps love, and endures a major loss that will affect that rest of his life.
Along the way, we meet his family - supportive Gram, adventurous and responsible older brother Neil and sister Nina, also college students.The book is basically a year in Nathan's life and the lessons he learns.
Just as she has done in her previous books, Reardon deftly captures the inner voice of a young guy. Nathan made me reflect back on my own early college years.
This isn't a fast read. Expect to settle in with Nathan, his loyal roommate El Speed, coworker and crush Daniel and love interest Aldean as they navigate the ups and downs of college life and different kinds of addictions.
The mix of supporting characters and how they flowed in and out of the story kept me engaged. They popped in and out to guide (or at one point misguide) Nathan.
I've never been to Chocorua in New Hampshire but Reardon transported me there with her detailed descriptions of the summit especially during a life-threatening situation.
This is the first of her trail blazer series and I look forward to following Nathan's journey in college.

View all my reviews

Thursday, May 16, 2019

Florida Jeopardy fun


I've been having fun (maybe too much fun judging by my three most recent stories) rediscovering "Jeopardy'' since James Holzhauer began his 22-day winning streak. How does he do it anyway?  Then Miami school teacher Matthew Bunch competed twice during the annual teacher's tournament, giving me another reason to watch (and write.) And the show has resurged in ratings, helping local affiliates such as Miami's WPLG-Ch. 10.

As I tune into the show and quickly blurt the answers (right and wrong but mostly wrong) from my sofa, I couldn't help but wonder about all the Florida-related "Jeopardy" questions from over the years.

With our weird news cycle thanks to all the "Florida Man" incidents and colorful wildlife (manatees, gators, chupacabras, etc.) and personalities (Pitbull,) the Sunshine State has became a bottomless well of trivia for the game show.  Florida is a go-to-resource for all sorts of questions and answers.

At the Sun Sentinel, I compiled some Florida-esque categories and clues that have been featured on the show over the years.

See if you can answer some of them.












Monday, April 22, 2019

Domino Man



Across from the University of Miami campus in Coral Gables, giant dominoes have been rising. The black and white game pieces are being splashed on the pylons under the Metrorail line, creating an artsy domino effect in the neighborhood (where I go running almost daily.)


I wrote a story about the art installation called "Concrete Landscapes Miami" by Australian artist Bo Droga (picture above standing between the dominoes.)  He gifted the project to Miami-Dade County to help brighten the drab concrete columns that people drive or walk by every day. The creative pieces add a lightheartedness to the area while breathing life into something that otherwise looks boring and bland. Call it cool urban art. Domino, parked.
In general, dominoes are popular in Miami especially among Cubans and Cuban-Americans. We've grown up playing the game, matching the numbered rectangular tiles with family and friends. Little Havana is also home to the infamous Domino Park where mostly older men and women gather daily to play games for hours on end. Before my dad died last year, he played dominoes with fellow residents of their nursing home. Inbetween meals and other activities, the residents sat at round tables where they carefully placed each game piece to match the numbers. I remember hearing the click-clack of the tiles during each round and their laughter (and a groan) when someone won.

As people learn about the 18-foot-tall dominoes in Coral Gables through social media or by simply being in the area, they are stopping by and taking selfies (including me.) 






Thursday, March 21, 2019

Looking back at 'Queer Miami'

Before visiting the new "Queer Miami" exhibit, I thought I knew my local LGBTQ history. I assumed the exhibit would focus on Miami's first gay Pride event in 1978, lead up to the 1980s AIDS crisis and then highlight the more recent legalization of same-sex marriage.

Boy, was I wrong.

The exhibit was so much more comprehensive than I had anticipated. It looks back at more than 100 years of LGBTQ history in Miami and Miami Beach from the early Florida ordinances that criminalized homosexual and transgender behavior to the impact of gay/lesbian immigration in the Magic City.

I recently wrote a Sun Sentinel article about the HistoryMiami Museum exhibit which was curated by University of Massachusetts Amherst history professor and Miami native Julio Capo Jr.  Housed in a sprawling 5,000-square-foot gallery in the downtown Miami museum, the exhibit uses a mix of historical records, news articles, video testimonials and memorabilia to tell the story of gay Miami.

While I'm too young to remember some of the things that were pre-1980, there were a couple of displays that really jumped out at me and transported me back to my childhood and college days.

One section centered on the police raids of early Miami Beach clubs and bars that catered to gay and lesbians.  In this part, there was black and white surveillance film of 21st street beach at Collins Avenue in Miami Beach. The footage showed throngs of men sunbathing and lounging.  An enlarged photo captured two men hugging on the beach by the lifeguard stand. 

Growing up on the beach, I remember my parents warning me about this area because of the maricones (fags in Spanish) when I'd go bike riding after school and on weekends.
In middle school and then high school, I was a regular at the  Miami Beach Public Library which was located across from this beach. I remember seeing men strolling up and down the street and meeting up with one another. Although I didn't make the immediate connection then, I knew this was their spot.

Venturing deeper into the exhibit, I rounded a corner and my eyes landed on a familiar face -  the late Cuban-American AIDS educator Pedro Zamora. A photo of him smiling with his arm around his father bedecked the top of a display case about Florida's AIDS crisis. Below the photo was The Miami Herald's front page obituary about Pedro's legacy in raising awareness about HIV/AIDS.

I've written some blog posts about Pedro over the years because I saw a lot of myself in him. We were born around the same time and we grew up as gay men in conservative Cuban families in South Florida. So this part of the display was sweet and sad at the same time, like a seeing a long lost old friend.
Another display celebrated The White Party fundraiser. T-shirts, programs, fliers and passes to the HIV/AIDS fundraiser for Care Resource filled the glass case. The memorabilia whisked me back to my first White Party in 1998 at Vizcaya Museum and Gardens in Miami. For the occasion,  I bought white jeans to match my white long-sleeved shirt.

I had heard so much buzz about the annual gala that I wanted to experience it. When I walked into the historic home and explored the manicured maze of lush gardens, I was struck by how everything from the guests' fashion to the elegant table decorations and chairs was awash in white. Everyone was in a celebratory mood, sipping wine and drinking to a good cause. 

A vibrant installation of ribbons in rainbow hues awaits visitors at the end of the exhibit. Visitors here are asked to share their own story on a card and to then post it on the wall.

I was only at the exhibit for an hour (I got there at 4 p.m. and they were closing at 5 p.m. so I was rushing somewhat.) But I plan to return to soak up more of the history.

The exhibit is up through Sept. 1, 2019 at HistoryMiami Museum, 101 W. Flagler St.  To read more about the exhibit, visit my Sun Sentinel article here.









Monday, March 11, 2019

Revisiting the Art Deco Blockbuster in South Beach

In an early scene in the Marvel movie "Captain Marvel," the super heroine drops out of the sky and crashes into a closed Blockbuster Video store on Earth (or Planet C-53). She lands between the "Family" and "Drama" sections, not far from a poster for the movie "True Lies."

After she gets back on her feet, Captain Marvel, out of curiosity, picks up a copy of "The Right Stuff" tape before she steps outside and discovers its 1995.

After watching the movie this weekend and reading news reports about the one and only remaining store on Earth, I was flooded with a rush of Blockbuster memories. Once upon a time, I was a Blockbuster Video employee.

From the ages of 19 to 22, I worked at Blockbuster. At the time, I was a part-time college intern at The Miami Herald where the pay was okay but not enough for my expenses. The additional income from Blockbuster helped me purchase books for college (Miami Dade College and FIU), supplemented my nights out clubbing in South Beach (Warsaw, Score and Twist) and helped with my car payments (my little Toyota Tercel.)

I started working at the Art Deco Blockbuster store in 1992 not long after it opened in South Beach. The store's outdoor sign had that "Miami Vice'' font and the exterior lights glowed pastel pink and blue which also matched the interior walls and carpeting. I also worked briefly at a Hialeah store when one of my favorite managers was promoted there. But I spent the most of my time working in Miami Beach.

Three times a week for my 8 p.m. to midnight shift, I donned a blue long-sleeved chambray shirt (or Polo) and khaki pants, the designated work uniform.  My duties mostly consisted of sitting at the return box and catching tapes that customers popped into the box. Then I’d scan them, stack them in a tall neat pile and carefully returned each box to its “ New Release” shelf.  
My first day reporting to work at Blockbuster.

It was a process I repeated several times during my shift. I also had to create new membership cards for new customers. When we closed the store to customers, we had an hour to vacuum the carpet, mop the tiles around the registers, clean the bathroom and make sure that every movie was neatly placed behind its cover box on the shelf where it belonged. Oh, and there was the tedious task of counting all the candy and restocking them. 

Despite my duties, I had a lot of fun on the job with my wing girl Cindy. Near the register, there was a microphone. Every once in awhile, we'd get on it and make the Ch Ch Ch Ah Ah Ah sound from the Friday the 13th movies which made us giggle. Our manager Chris also liked to get on the microphone to bark like a dog to confuse customers which also made me laugh.

I think the reason I know so much about movies today was because I was surrounded by so many of them back then. Whether they were old or new, I knew their titles, year of release and their shelf categories by heart. One small perk of the job: we got to take home the movie posters once the new release was old. (For me, that was the poster for Julia Roberts' "Dying Young" with Campbell Scott.)

Working at this store, which was in the heart of South Beach at 15th Street and Alton Road, allowed for fun celebrity spotting. We tried not to make it obvious (but we did) when Jim Carrey and Courtney Cox stopped by in 1992 (on break from shooting “Ace Ventura: Pet Detective" in Miami Beach.) One of us (it wasn't me) got on the microphone and sang the intro to "In Living Color" the Fox sketch comedy show that he was known for at the time.

Gloria Estefan and Chayenne were regulars at the store, too. And I got to see many of my former high school classmates who walked in searching for blockbusters like "Jurassic Park" and "Alien 3."

Years later when I moved to Boston to be a reporter at The Boston Globe, I continued my treks to a Blockbuster in my Dorchester neighborhood. (I also went to Hollywood Video in Quincy.)  As the chains began to fade, I reported on their closings for a Business feature

When I moved back to Miami Beach after 10 years in Boston, I often visited my old Miami Beach Blockbuster for the nostalgic thrill of strolling along the tall, white shelves to find the latest DVD. When the store and others in Miami and around the country closed in 2013, it was the end of an era and a movie rental tradition that really began for me at the Art Deco Blockbuster.





Saturday, February 2, 2019

The rainbow police car

Wilton Manors is known as South Florida's LGBT capital and the second gayest city in the US. The island city next to Fort Lauderdale has a large population of gays and lesbians who walk hand in hand along Wilton Drive or while dining out along the strip. Whenever I visit a close friend there and pull into the city limits,  it's as if there is a giant rainbow hovering over this part of Broward county. The rainbow flag sails mightily in front of storefronts, bars and people's homes.

So it's not a complete surprise to learn that the Wilton Manors Police Department has resdesigned one of its patrol cars to reflect the large LGBT community it serves. It's the police department's way of showing its pride with this new ride.

I wrote a story about the patrol car, decorated with large rainbows on each side, for the Sun Sentinel. The rear of the car reads "Policing with Pride."

The car is a 2013 Ford Interceptor and officers will feature it at community events such as Pride Fort Lauderdale and the annual Wilton Manors Stonewall Parade and Street Festival.  There has been a spirited debate on Facebook among people celebrating the police department's community outreach with the colorful car while others wondering whether this was a good use of funds. Below is a photo of the car featured in the Sun Sentinel.

Miami Beach also has a patrol car with "POLICE" decorated in rainbow hues. The Ford Crown Victoria is used at community events such as the annual Miami Beach Pride festivities on Ocean Drive.. (Photo below from Miami Beach PD)

And three years ago, the Orlando Police Department also unveiled a police car with a rainbow-hued heart to honor the 49 people who were fatally shot during the 2016 Pulse nightclub shooting. The police car was called No. 49. The names were listed on the back window and hood. Photo below from Orlando Sentinel.



Tuesday, January 22, 2019

My Breakfast Club at Starbucks

For the past year or so, a little Starbucks in Coral Gables has become my unofficial hang out spot. When I became a member of the Sun Sentinel's Audience Engagement team, my shift changed to a school teacher's schedule, essentially, working 6:45 a.m. to 3 p.m.ish. That meant I had to get up at least by 5:45 a.m.  And the first thing I do is schlep two blocks in the predawn darkness under the Metrorail line to my neighborhood Starbucks at 475 S. Dixie Highway.
But what made my mornings easier was the staff here. I quickly befriended them and whenever I walked in, they greeted me with a cheery "HI JOHNNY!" or "JOHNNY's HERE!" even though my eyes were half closed. Over time, I got to know a little about each of the hardworking and super friendly baristas such as their families (a sick father in the hospital),  their interests (running, Mini Coopers, etc) , their other jobs (sea lion trainer) and whatever is on their mind that day. I'm also friends with one of them (Nat) on Instagram now (second to right of Alex below.)

Each morning as I scanned the headlines, my Twitter feed, Google alerts and other channels that I use to find out whatever is trending or what people should be talking about when they start their day, I was starting my day at this Starbucks which became a pseudo office for me when I lose my wireless connection. When the store closed for two weeks last November for a makeover, I found myself cheating and driving to other nearby Starbucks. And yet the vibe was different. The warmth and camaraderie  I had come to know at my Starbucks wasn't entirely replicated in these nearby stores. The menu, coffee and food was the same but not the people, the experience.

A few months ago, I posted a Google review about this particular Starbucks shop and the staffers thanked me and told me that they have it pinned up on their wall by the drive thru window I also learned that two of the former and current employees (Neff and Alex) have also used it as a reference for other jobs which really moved me. The review was my thank you to them and their coworkers for their great service and I was pleasantly surprised that the review has done some good for them. (I was also pleasantly surprised when I spotted actor Christian Slater wearing a baseball cap stopping by one day last year to pick up his coffee from the mobile pick up area but that's another blog post for another day.)
Below is the Google review that I posted.  Here's to my peeps at Starbucks in Coral Gables. And see
you tomorrow morning.

This Starbucks has become my other home. I start my day here in the predawn hours when the staff is always smiling and friendly even though it's dark outside. They know me by name and they know what I always order (butter croissant, doppio with one Monk stevia). They whip it up right away. It's always a treat to come here (which is daily). A big thank you to the wonderful, cheery and professional staff that I have gotten to know in the past year since I began coming here. I'm looking at you Nef, Elias, Alex, Kyle, Steven, Nico, Bri, Brenes, Nat, Ena, Roy, Mike, Chris, Josiah, Julie. (I know I am forgetting some names which means I need to get me some more espresso but I appreciate your hard work.)

PS. New faces have joined the shop since the review so thank you to Eli, Hannah for also brightening my mornings.